What makes relationships run smoothly? Effective Communication…every time!

CommunicationI want to talk about the importance of communicating clearly. I do this as much for myself as anyone else reading this, because it is not always easy to say what we mean, mean what we say, set boundaries – and even more importantly – keep them.

Good communication also leads to freedom – one of my passions! When we are free to be honest with one another, in a kind and constructive way, relationships flourish and grow. I’ve been using this phrase with my friends and clients lately, “You either grow together, or you grow apart”, and I believe this whole-heartedly. So what does that mean to a freedom/liberty lover? We want a world where individuals are sovereign over their own lives – where no one surrenders their own value to benefit another. Respect for individual rights is essential for a prosperous, free world. How this is communicated is crucial; it is more that just words, but requires real action and dedication.

I want to introduce you to the Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz, a very clever man: https://www.thefouragreements.com/. There is really nothing new under the sun, but he put these together in a such a simple way, that I am impressed. They are as follows: 1) Never AssUMe (we all know about this one), 2) Don’t take anything personally (it says a lot more about the person pointing the finger), 3) Be impeccable with your word (clear and concise – we need to know what we want/need and convey that message; no one is a mind-reader, 4) Always do your best (you’ll know if you fall short!) I urge you to memorize these and implement them into your daily lives; they are truly a gift. And they are very freeing too! Keeping the Four Agreements in mind, many new relationships will be formed and kept real. Being clear about intentions is crucial to maintain good standing and building trust. Taking 100% responsibility for our own choices, actions, and decisions makes life easier and freer.

Now, I want to introduce you to something called Restorative Justice. This approach to justice is where a response to a crime is approached with a mediation between offender and victim in an attempt to resolve the matter to the satisfaction of all participants. This type of program aims to urge offenders to take that 100% responsibility for their actions, truly understand the harm they caused, and offer the opportunity to make good while discouraging future mishaps. Victims also have the opportunity to take an active role in the process which can lead to more satisfying results. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to communicate in a way that resolved a problem by being humble, honest, and forthcoming? When someone has harmed another, I believe we would be hard-pressed to find a better deterrent to future wrong-doing than restoring justice to our community.


Check out these links: https://www.habitsforwellbeing.com/9-effective-communication-skills/. Remember, communicating also includes effective listening: https://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm and that also includes reflective listening: https://www.antelopespringscounseling.com/documents/articles/ListeningSkillsIntentionalDialogue.pdf.

I live here in Manchester, NH, one of the most beautiful states by far, hands down. Environment plays a large role in our attitudes and decisions. Freedom is a priority for me, is it for you?

  • Jennifer

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