Post Covid and Beyond

Wow! We have all been through the wringer these last couple of years, and I’m still here ready to assist at reducing and managing your anxiety. The world we live in has always been challenging, but since the advent of the almighty Internet, our brains have to hold an awful lot of information, and let’s face it, it is not easy. It turns folks against each other in a heartbeat, when really, we all want the same things.

Learning to feel good, move forward, and keeping your eye on your goals – no matter what else is happening, takes practice and determination. That is what this cheerleader is here for. Finding the value in what you are trying to accomplish puts it into perspective. Whether you are anxious, depressed, or a combination of challenges, you CAN do this. Patience and keeping a positive attitude is key. Wonderful things happen when we believe they can. Don’t take no for an answer.

Peace and love. Jennifer

Covid and Beyond

I haven’t been here in a while, and I apologize. I have actually been busier than ever! While Covid has certainly not been a joyful part of our history, it did bring with it some positive aspects: I have more clients, I get to work from home, I am enjoying my space and making it more comfortable. I actually had Covid myself and still dealing with the after affects, but I didn’t lose my positive attitude, and I WON’T! What good will that do anyway? For those of you who are also dealing with these interesting times and would like someone to talk to, my coaching may be for you. Keep it in mind. Peace and love.

2020 CLEAR VISION FOR THE FUTURE

2020 – When I hear that, I always think of clear vision first. What is YOUR vision for this year? It’s always a good idea to have an idea of where you are headed without overwhelming yourself with useless resolutions or unreachable goals. A life coach is the kind of individual who can help you set those intentions and put them in motion. You are in luck – I am a Life Coach right here in your community – which means EVERYWHERE! Most pressures come from anxiety and/or lack of communication in one way or another. Let me help work out the kinks and have a clear (2020) vision of this new year! PM, text, email, or call me for details. Consultation is always free, and we can meet in person or remotely. Remember, #whatelsecangoright?! 

 

Therapy Pets…Aren’t They All?

There has been a lot of talk about service/therapy animals of late, but I am not here to talk about that specifically. I am here to tell you that pets are therapeutic in their own right. I sometimes work with individuals on the Autism Spectrum who often do not like interacting with people. Let’s face it, we can all need a break from other people sometimes! Pets provide companionship, comfort, friendship, and a kind of love that is almost indescribable. Anyone who has had a pet that they have cared for, nurtured, and welcomed into their family knows what I mean.

Taking care of a pet is a serious commitment, but the rewards are immeasurable. Whether you pay big bucks for a special breed or adopt at your local shelter, love is love. Our cat (see below) MJ, is a 10-year-old rescue. She is a love-bug, pain in the neck, and a beloved family member. She expresses her love to us on a daily basis. Yes, pets truly become part of our family and deserve the same consideration and level of care we provide each other. And if that is not up-to-par, please be open to remedying that. Pets also make us laugh, and that is my favorite aspect of pet ownership. They have a way of turning our negative attitudes completely around with their magic! #whatelsecangoright?!

*Note: Before getting a pet, be sure you are ready for the responsibility and commitment. If you teach your kids young to take care of their pet(s), these skills will lend themselves to their future in adulthood.

What makes relationships run smoothly? Effective Communication…every time!

I want to talk about the importance of communicating clearly. I do this as much for myself as anyone else reading this, because it is not always easy to say what we mean, mean what we say, set boundaries – and even more importantly – keep them.

Good communication also leads to freedom – one of my passions! When we are free to be honest with one another, in a kind and constructive way, relationships flourish and grow. I’ve been using this phrase with my friends and clients lately, “You either grow together, or you grow apart”, and I believe this whole-heartedly. So what does that mean to a freedom/liberty lover? We want a world where individuals are sovereign over their own lives – where no one surrenders their own value to benefit another. Respect for individual rights is essential for a prosperous, free world. How this is communicated is crucial; it is more that just words, but requires real action and dedication.

I want to introduce you to the Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz, a very clever man: https://www.thefouragreements.com/. There is really nothing new under the sun, but he put these together in a such a simple way, that I am impressed. They are as follows: 1) Never AssUMe (we all know about this one), 2) Don’t take anything personally (it says a lot more about the person pointing the finger), 3) Be impeccable with your word (clear and concise – we need to know what we want/need and convey that message; no one is a mind-reader, 4) Always do your best (you’ll know if you fall short!) I urge you to memorize these and implement them into your daily lives; they are truly a gift. And they are very freeing too! Keeping the Four Agreements in mind, many new relationships will be formed and kept real. Being clear about intentions is crucial to maintain good standing and building trust. Taking 100% responsibility for our own choices, actions, and decisions makes life easier and freer.

Now, I want to introduce you to something called Restorative Justice. This approach to justice is where a response to a crime is approached with a mediation between offender and victim in an attempt to resolve the matter to the satisfaction of all participants. This type of program aims to urge offenders to take that 100% responsibility for their actions, truly understand the harm they caused, and offer the opportunity to make good while discouraging future mishaps. Victims also have the opportunity to take an active role in the process which can lead to more satisfying results. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to communicate in a way that resolved a problem by being humble, honest, and forthcoming? When someone has harmed another, I believe we would be hard-pressed to find a better deterrent to future wrong-doing than restoring justice to our community.

http://restorativejustice.org/restorative-justice/about-restorative-justice/#sthash.Kl5dkSRO.dpbs

Check out these links: https://www.habitsforwellbeing.com/9-effective-communication-skills/. Remember, communicating also includes effective listening: https://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm and that also includes reflective listening: https://www.antelopespringscounseling.com/documents/articles/ListeningSkillsIntentionalDialogue.pdf.

I live here in Manchester, NH, one of the most beautiful states by far, hands down. Environment plays a large role in our attitudes and decisions. Freedom is a priority for me, is it for you?

• Jennifer

The Power of Words

My husband and I have always been very interested in the usage of the English language; he even got a a degree in it. So many of the phrases we often say are actually working against us, and we didn’t even realize. Just the other day, I looked over at our white board, and under several goals, I had written Get Happy. I was bowled over! I immediately erased get and replaced with be. Be Happy is the way to go. We must learn to be happy in the first place in order for the Universe to provide more Happy.

As a Life Coach, I often amaze myself at what I miss in the world. My husband and I were having a discussion just this morning about some plans we are making. He said, “What have we got to lose? He immediately realized how counter-productive that was, so he changed it to, “What have we got to gain?” Amazing! That lead to several other re-writes: What’s the best that can happen? The best case scenario. I’m sure there are many more, and feel free to comment below the blog; I would love to hear from you. I live for these ah hah moments, and I hope you do too! Everyday is a new learning experience; it’s never over! That used to sound like bad news but not anymore.

So as you go about your day(s), keep and eye and ear open to what is being said…often to yourself. This is likened to positive affirmations that many folks have used to actually heal themselves of terminal illness. Our language, and its usage, is very important. Choose it and use it wisely. Peace.

Jennifer

The Magic Green Cloth

Back in January, 2012, my husband and I took a vacation to Belize. Now the first interesting thing about this trip, is that I let my husband plan it! For someone who likes to control, this was an exercise in patience. Like many trips, you run into hiccups, and ours began in the Charlotte, NC airport. Our flight had a delay, or some such thing, and I began to complain. My husband decided that we needed a plan to assure we had a great time and maintained a good attitude. He said, “What if we started saying, What Else Can Go Right and see how the Universe responds”? As Law of Attraction enthusiasts, this seemed like a no-brainer! I admit, I was still skeptical and would have rather demand better service, but I gave it a shot anyway.

My husband announced that we would be having to take a bus to our cabana resort in the jungle and would need to catch a ride from Belize City airport to the bus station. Once I got over the idea of taking a bus in a third-world-county, a gentleman began talking to us in line in Charlotte. It turned out that his friend was picking him up and providing a ride into Belize City, where he lived, and offered us a ride to the bus station. We immediately looked at each other, and in unison said, “What Else Can Go Right?!” He did indeed give us a ride, but once there, I became increasingly uncomfortable. A taxi driver in a nice van seemed to zero in on us, and he came to our rescue. He offered us a ride to our destination and threw in a tour along the way. My husband did the calculations and found it to be a great deal and saved us the bus trip. What Else Can Go Right?!

OK, so here’s where it gets interesting. We get to the “resort” to find that the reservation had us coming in March! I felt myself tensing up; it was dusk now, and we are in the jungle! I focused on the orange iguanas in the trees and just kept saying WECGR in my head while my husband negotiated. Low and behold, Mike next door had a beautiful resort on the river and few customers. He honored the same rate and even threw in a private chef! Wow! This stuff really works! And Mike’s place blew away the first one!

As our trip went on, we had plenty of opportunities to put WECGR to the test. Our second stop was to the deeper jungle, where we had many wonderful adventures, met people from all over the world, tested fate a couple of times, and wrestled with what Mother Nature threw at us. Each time, we came out better on the other side. It was really getting interesting now. If you want to really experience a new place, get out there among the locals and dig in.

Our last stop was the beach, but getting there was harrowing to say the least. Between the rising river and navigating the rope bridge with our luggage, it was touch and go for a while. But we got out in the nick of time WECGR?! Finally, we had our toes in the sand! The proprietor of our tiny cabin was wonderful and gave us the “lay of the land”. The following day, I fell asleep in the sun, and you guessed it….I got burned! It was a long night. The following day, we borrowed a couple of rickety bikes and took a trip down a dirt road into the wild blue yonder. I mentioned to my husband, “Dave, I wish I had brought a shawl or something to cover my shoulders with; they really hurt!” Wait for it…as we turned the corner, there on a bush was piece of bright green material, the exact color of my dress, the exact size I needed to tie around my shoulders, and the exact weight to be cool! I fell off the bike! This was beyond WECGR, it was a miracle!

That cloth has become the cornerstone of a new way of thinking for both of us, and the direction of my life coaching. I have it right on my nightstand to remind me that miracles indeed happen every day if we allow them to manifest in our lives. I continue to harness this energy and practice it myself. I look forward to guiding you down a path that tells a great story as well. See you soon!

Paying It Forward in My Community

For me, there is nothing more rewarding than helping someone in need. I live in a community where we count on each other for moral and other supports. It brings me much pleasure to know that I can help people work out problems with a positive attitude, reasonable solutions, and consistent feedback. Our beliefs include liberty and freedom, and freedom from pain, anxiety, depression, and over-all ill-will is priceless. I live in Manchester, NH and have never felt more at home anywhere, and I have lived in many places. I believe that Life Coaching is therapeutic in it’s own right, but it’s different from therapy in that I help you focus on your strengths and build you up from there. Focusing on what is wrong gets you more of that. Worrying is a waste time, so if there’s something you can do, I will help you find the way to do it. My approach is called What Else Can Go Right?! I have found all types of clients find the results they desire. I feel like Felix The Cat. I have a bag of tricks, but of course, they’re really not tricks. They are practical strategies that take you on a step-process from blah to fabulous in no time! Reach out to me at jennifernarby@gmail.com or PM me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/whatelsecangoright/. If you are local, I can come to you, you can come to me, or we can even Skype or Facetime. Feel better now!

Living Sober in a Drunk World

With tensions high for everything under the sun, “I need a drink” could not be more pertinent! But what good would that do? After putting down the booze more than 28 years ago, I’m not about to let a presidential election, vagina hats, or the fact that taxation is theft threaten my sobriety!

But it’s hard sometimes to stay sane while others lubricate themselves with various concoctions of temporary bliss. And then I remember my attitude. What Else Can Go Right?! is all about just that. I attended a party the other evening where a lot of folks were partaking in a mind-altering pot luck, but I didn’t need anything but my own personality and witty sense of humor – something I was convinced I would lose when I got clean – to have fun! And I could remember exactly what I did (and did not do!!) They all kept it together; I would have caused a scene in the old days, and we had the best time!

So as life continues to throw me curve balls, I remind myself and YOU that your attitude determines your future. For me, sobriety is the cornerstone of examining my motives, letting my conscience be my guide, and always doing my best. While the world continues to get drunk, I will remain sober, alert, and ready to face it all. And I will continue to use this strategy everyday with the school kids I interact with and the clients that I coach. And besides, the alternative stinks! #whatelsecangoright?!

It’s All About The Attitude

Hi Everybody,

Attitude is truly everything. It’s as important as the weather. Talking it is considered small talk, but weather is extremely vital to us! It determines what we’re wearing, where we’re going, and how we’re getting there! Attitude is a lot like that. A bad attitude can be change a sunny day into a wet one in a real hurry. But a good attitude attracts abundance. I like abundance!

So attitude is important. We’ve all heard about attitude adjustments. When I hear this phrase, I think of someone wagging a finger at me making a demand. I don’t want to be told what to do…even if ‘they’re’ right! So my version of an attitude adjustment is referred to as #whatelsecangoright?! It’s basically the same thing, but it sounds like a lot more fun, and it is! And I choose it. This is not a should!

Once my husband and I adjusted our attitudes and began focusing on what was going right, lots of stuff changed. I began calling myself a Life Coach, and by golly, folks asked me to help. Then I got a job as a Life Coach and began teaching others how to focus their minds on the upswing. I like to remind them to be a trout swimming downstream, not a salmon swimming up. The visual does the trick. Goin’ with the flow takes on a new meaning too! And it makes so much sense. Best part? It’s easy once you get the hang of it.

But how do you turn a really crappy thing into a something going right? Glad you asked. I believe everything has a purpose, a place in the scheme of things, a hidden meaning even. Getting a diagnosis of a terminal illness does NOT feel like something is going right. But when that person changes their lifestyle, refuses to accept a death sentence, proves the doctors wrong, and lives in good health to tell the tale…isn’t that a #whatelsecangoright?! moment? Many survivors will say that their diagnosis was the best thing that ever happened to them, because they made those important changes, beginning with their attitude. I don’t mean to make light of serious business, but I need to make a point of how powerful our minds are.

The universe works in subtle ways to provide. When my husband, as an exchange student in Peru, was $50 short for a train ticket, he was disappointed and let down. But when he found out that that same train was blown up by rebels, and everyone on it was killed, he realized how the universe protected him. When I am delayed at the airport, traffic, whatever, I now see it as a safety mechanism keeping me out of harm’s way. I now choose to see it as a message and not an inconvenience.

So I urge you to see what’s going right. Let the universe bring more of that your way. See how adjusting your attitude, your way of thinking, your perspective changes circumstances, end results, and bottom lines. This stuff works! The Law of Attraction brings you what you think about. What you think about long enough becomes a belief. Think wisely. Until next time…

Be one with the trout,

Jennifer